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Limericks From the Hellmouth

March 17th, 2013 (10:37 pm)

Buffy-the-Vampire-Slayer-Wallpaper-A group called Waffle Meringue Productions has started an online episode guide to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, with each episode summarized in a limerick! A fun idea, but I started reading through the limericks and wondered if I could write some of my own. Don't get me wrong; most of the limericks on the site are hilarious. But in others, the meter is a little off.

Taking this as a personal challenge, I tried writing a few of my own.

Here's one for the first episode of Season 1, "Welcome to the Hellmouth."

A hudlum who wants a good lay,
Leads a pretty young blond girl astray,
But he’s shocked in mid-pucker.
The babe’s a bloodsucker!
And turnabout’s often fair play.

In all fairness to the talented folks at Waffle Meringue, I didn't attempt to summarize the whole episode in that one, just the opening scene. So they had the more difficult challenge. As I've learned through this exercise, it's HARD to sum up an hour-long show in five rhyming lines. But that didn't stop me from trying,

Here's a wrap-up of another first-season episode, "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date."

If the Apocalypse Comes
A Slayer can’t spend her time dating,
But hormones cannot be kept waiting,
Tour the morgue with a guy,
And somebody may die,
Buffy shouldn’t mix vampires with mating.

And finally, here are two different takes on "Once More, With Feeling," which all Buffy fans will remember was the brilliant musical episode in season six.

Once More With Feeling
Sunnydale’s singing and dancing,
A demon’s arrived, necromancing,
Dawn is wearing his charm
So he’s free to do harm,
Leaving Buffy to stop his romancing

The Scooby Gang’s love and affection
Is turned in a different direction,
When singing the truth
Makes friends fight, nail and tooth,
And they learn about Buff’s resurrection.