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What Would I Say About Kittens?

November 24th, 2013 (05:04 pm)

Have you seen "What Would I Say?" This is an app for Facebook that analyzes your past Facebook status lines and generates a new status line for you, one that supposedly sounds like something you would write yourself. It seems to do this by borrowing words and phrases from your past status lines and recombining them in new ways. Sometimes these make no sense at all, but some are quite funny or at least weirdly quirky.

I belong to a writers' group called Kittens With Typewriters, and apparently I have written several actual status lines in the past year that include the word Kittens. So a lot of my "What Would I Say?" status lines deal with kittens. Here is a selection of some my favorite kittens-related WWIS lines.
two kittens

Kittens With Status Lines

“The kittens are in full bloom this time.”

“The kittens are gathering today at school with lots of apples, and found some pumpkins too.”

“Household goal for next time will be to run from a curse. They come from Pennsylvania, and a democracy is very musical. He’s doing them Greek meatballs, but in the weather reports, I made a kitten too.” (Huh?)

"The kittens are gathering today at a prize, but I don’t mind.”

“The kittens are stranded in a tank of concrete. I was afraid I’d love Gilligan’s Island and think it’s boring, so I’m thinking I’ll try something else.” (Oh, no! Poor kittens!)

“The kittens are gathering at the Del Ray Farmer’s Market, registering voters at me.”

“The kittens are gathering today at the playground and my son is teaching them to start a café across America this morning.” (Every time I read this one, I think of Supertramp.)

“The kittens are gathering today at the elementary school.”

“It’s Election Day today with a kitten.” (Uncle Sam wants you to let your meow be heard.)