Here is an excellent piece written by a friend of mine and member of my writer's group, Shelly Schwab, for the Senior Women website (www.seniorwomen.com). It is followed by a link to the article as it appears on the site.

Will These Parents Destroy Your Family?

by Rochelle Hollander Schwab

My husband and I have a nephew who — along with his wife — adopted a baby boy at birth. It's an open adoption: their son's birth mother signed over her parental rights in favor of a couple she knew could provide the emotional and financial resources she could not.
Their son is now a healthy, energetic first-grader, living in a two-parent household, and doted on by loving grandparents. Still, as he grew, he began to exhibit developmental problems and behaviors that were eventually diagnosed as autism.

After much research into the best educational and treatment environment for him, our nephew and his wife settled on a highly recommended school for autistic children in a state two thousand miles away. They put their house on the market, despite the bad economy, and said goodbye to close friends and to a city and neighborhood they loved in order to provide their son with the best environment for his development.

"Well, that's what you do when you have children," I said, in a phone conversation with our nephew not long ago. "You have to put their needs first."

To which he replied, "Absolutely."

There was no hesitation in his response or in their decision to move for the sake of their child's well-being. They're devoted to their son, to each other, and to bringing him up in a strong, loving family.

Yet I'm continually astonished to read letters-to-the-editor, blogs and op-eds attacking my nephew's family as a threat to every other family in America. How could anyone call these two loving people and their little boy a threat to the well-being of other families?

How? Because I changed one word, and one word only, in this otherwise true family story. My nephew and his spouse are indeed the devoted parents I've described. But they are both men. They are also a loving couple who have been in a committed relationship for years, and who have recently taken advantage of a change in their state's laws to marry legally as well as in their hearts.

I'm writing about them not because they are the "exception that proves the rule" but because they are not. Nor is our lesbian daughter unique in her devotion to her partner, who is the caring mother of a grown daughter and a dedicated special education teacher.

Couple by couple, family by family, gay men and lesbian women are settling down together and parenting children. And countless numbers, like our own daughter, want nothing more than to stop just living together and assume the rights and responsibilities of a legal marriage.

For those opponents of same-sex marriage who proclaim that the primary purpose of marriage is to provide children the advantages of growing up in a two-parent family, I would ask: Don't children being brought up by two moms or two dads deserve as much legal protection as any other child? Why force them to live in a household where only one parent has legal responsibility for them? How can refusing to allow their parents to marry strengthen their family or American families in general?

These opponents of same-sex marriage don't seem to understand that the gay and lesbian couples striving for equal marriage rights agree with you. They believe that strong families are the bedrock of society. They want to raise their children in a two-parent family; they want to be there for each other for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, as long as they both shall live.

That's why they want to marry, and why they deserve to.

© 2009 by Rochelle Hollander Schwab for SeniorWomen.com


LINK TO SENIOR WOMEN SITE:
www.seniorwomen.com/articles/articlesSchwabMarriage.html#bio

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Rochelle Hollander Schwab is author of A Departure from the Script, an award-winning novel about love, family and same-sex marriage. The legal limbo faced by lesbian and gay families is also explored in one of her earlier novels, In a Family Way. Rochelle lives near Washington, DC with her husband of 48 years. She has two daughters and three grandchildren, and is an active member of the Metropolitan Washington chapter of PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). She can be contacted at rochelleschwab@comcast.net, or through her website, http://www.rochelleschwab.com/

Yesterday I took my son on a road trip to the Route 11 Potato Chip Factory in the Shenandoah Valley. (For you Virginians, that's in the town of Mt. Jackson; take exit 269 off I-81. It recently moved there from a location in Middleburg.) We watched as the line turned out thousands of sweet-potato chips, which was the variety being made that day. And we sampled those and the other kinds of chips that the factory produces. I liked the sweet potato chips best, followed closely by the barbecue chips. My son liked the barbecue chips best, then the lightly salted and the garlic-herb varieties.
 
Afterward, we stepped outside into the parking lot. I breathed deeply of the sweet-potato-scented air and admired the nearby Blue Ridge mountains. My seven-year-old said, "I wish I could live here!"

I asked, "In the Shenandoah Valley?"

"No," he responded, "In the potato chip factory."

I know it's not Thursday anymore. I really did compile most of this list on Thursday, and even typed it in on Thursday. But my computer froze up on me, and I gave in and turned off the darn thing. So, now that it's Friday, here is this week's Thursday 13. These are 13 book clubs that my book club is either scheduled to read or that I'm considering adding to the club's book list for future months. Comments on any of these books are welcome.

1. The Pact, by Jodi Picoult

2. Dreams from My Father, by Barack Obama

3. The Friday Night Knitting Club, by Kate Jacobs

4. Quantico, by Greg Bear

5. Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, by Barbara Kingsolver

6. The Reader, by Bernard Schlinke

7. The Tales of Beedle the Bard, by J.K. Rowling

8. A Moveable Feast, by Ernest Hemingway

9. The Other Boleyn Girl, by Philippa Gregory

10. Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India, and Indonesia, by Elizabeth Gilbert

11. The Boy In the Striped Pajamas, by John Boyne

12. A Sundog Moment, by Sharon Baldacci

13. Fledgling, by Octavia Butler

 

 

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I should have posted this one earlier in the week, but I didn't think of it until my husband posted a link to it on his Facebook page. It's an article written by a Washington Post writer who is the mother of a child at my son's elementary school. It's about our school's Modified Calendar, sometimes called a "year-round" school schedule.
 
Technically, it's not year-round. We're off for summer break next Wednesday, same as all the Alexandria schools with traditional schedules. But our break is shorter than on the traditional schedules; our kids go back to school August 3. We love our calendar! I'll let you read Brigid's reasons why.

(With apologies to those who've already seen this on Bob's Facebook posting.)

"Year-Round School" Article, by Brigid Schulte for the Washington Post, 6/7/2009

Here's a strange news story out of London. Glad the little pup survived the ordeal! Click on the triangle to see the footage. 

A call from the principal's office is never a good thing. This afternoon, the assistant principal at my son's elementary school called to say that my son and several other boys were sitting in his office, having been caught during recess throwing rocks at cars in the parking lot. These are not disgruntled teenagers. These boys are first-graders, all of seven years old.

A car belonging to a fifth-grade teacher was damaged. She's going to get some estimates for repairing the damage, and each boy's family will have to pay an equal share of it. Unfortunately, the car was a BMW, so I imagine it will not be cheap.

I'm mystified. Why do boys do lamebrained things like this? What were they thinking? My son is not home from school yet, but when he arrives, we will have a talk, and probably not a pleasant one.

If anyone out there has been a seven-year-old boy and understands the motivation behind such an act, I would really like to be enlightened.

I never said much about my trip to Balticon, but I had a great time and made some great contacts. The most interesting news I learned is that a publisher is putting out Stargate SG1 books, and has been for several years. I hadn't heard this before because it's a British publisher, and the books are not widely available in the United States. But I would really, really love to write one.

This could solve my dilemma over my next project. I keep trying to work on my two back-burner novels and the occasional short story, but when I do, I feel guilty because I don't have publishers for them, so I'm not making any money. So I start thinking I should contact my nonfiction editors again to get another nonfiction book contract. Except that I don't want to be writring nonfiction right now. I want to write fiction. I'm a longtime Stargate fan, so this could be a great option.
 
I e-mailed the editors today. Fingers crossed.

I'm having connection problems today. Thank you, Comcast. So I'm currently on LJ via a dial-up connection. You can imagine how much fun that is. I was hoping to post about the snarfari I went on yesterday. A snarfari is a historical-landmarks hunting trip. Each landmark you visit and photograph to log later onto the Markeroni website is called a "snarf." As I said, I had planned to post about it now. But this Internet connection is driving me crazy, so I think I'll wait and try again tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, if you're a Virginia resident, don't forget the Democratic primary for Governor, which takes place Tuesday. Voter turnout is expected to be low, so every vote makes a big difference. Get to the polls and vote! Haven't decided on a candidate? I'm supporting Brian Moran.

Fingers crossed....

Early this morning, while lying in bed not sleeping, I suddenly had an inspiration for a short story I've been writing, on and off, for years. Off, lately. Really, I hadn't touched this story in months, so it's odd that it would come to me like this, out of the blue.

Remember, I am not a short story writer. I always wrestle with the structure, and it usually pins me to the mat. Give me a nice long novel to write, any day.

This morning, I understood for the first time just how this problematic story should end. I also realized that my protagonist is Latina. And that my short story is probably going to end up as a novella.

Now to finish writing the thing.

I received a recorded phone message from Verizon, telling me my MCI telephone service (land service, not cell) was being automatically switched to Verizon as of June 15. I assume this is because Verizon bought MCI a few years back. The message said a detailed letter had already been sent to me, explaining my new Verizon service plan and my other options. My most recent MCI statement included a message with the same wording.

Only I never received such a letter. The message gave me a number to call if I had questions, so I called it. When I explained the problem, the person on the phone said he couldn't help me, because he was at the national Verizon call center, and I needed to call the LOCAL Verizon office. So why did Verizon tell me to call this number in the first place?

After an hour on the phone, during which I spoke with SEVEN different people, none of which knew a damn thing, I am convinced that Comcast now has serious competition for its distinction of providing the Worst Customer Service Ever.

Verizon not only had no record of having sent me the letter about my service plan, but also had no record of planning to switch me over from MCI service. When I asked why I hadn't received the letter, one guy told me I had to call Verizon to make the switch to happen (so much for the term "automatic") and that the letter wouldn't go out until after I'd made the call. (So much for the clearly written, unambiguous statement that said I had already received the letter.)

Every time I was transfered to a new person, I had to start over, explaining the situation from the beginning. Every time someone told me he or she was changing something in my record, the next person said no, it hadn't been changed, and I had to go over it all again.

If this is any indication of Verizon's customer service and general competence, I'd better start looking for a new phone company.

visited 50 states (100%)
Create your own visited map of The United States or Like this? try: Mapped Web

I've posted one like this before, but at the time I didn't realize I'd been to all 50 states. My mother recently determined that we did visit North Dakota on a multi-state trip when I was little. The last time I posted such a map, neither of us could remember if we'd made it there, so I'd left North Dakota blank. That was the final state I needed to be able to claim I've been to them all.

Now if I could only get to more foreign countries....